Nixon Dethroned As The King Of Coverup






For the last forty years, if you played word association with the words “cover up”, my guess is that “Nixon” would have been the most popular answer.  The former president’s actions to cover-up panoply of crimes became the dictionary definition of the expression:  “The cover-up gets you in more trouble than the original crime”.

That title is now challenged by Dennis Hastert, the former high school physical education teacher and Republican Speaker of the House.  This idiot committed several Federal crimes to cover-up acts that were no longer subject to criminal prosecution!

He committed Federal crimes to keep secret 35-year-old sexual indiscretions with his former students.  Sadly, there was an alternative plan that was legal, safer and probably cheaper than the $3.5 million he was doling out.

In an effort to thwart money laundering, Congress made banks report all cash transactions over $10,000.  Congress then amended the law to also make it a crime to do a series of smaller transactions—known as structuring—to get around the $10,000 threshold.  As a member of Congress, Hastert had voted for these laws.

As a private citizen, he “voted” to break them.  In addition, he lied to the FBI about the reasons for his cash transactions…another crime.

First of all, you don’t have to lie to the FBI or any other government official. Why?  Because, unless you are subpoenaed with an immunity agreement, you don’t have to talk to them!

Which brings us to the structuring charge.  There was a perfectly legal way to move the money. After thirty years in Washington, didn’t he know any lawyers?

By any reasonable interpretation, Hastert was either the victim of extortion or compensating his former student for sexual abuse.

Any lawyer worth his salt would have negotiated a confidential settlement that would have been a lot less than $3.5 million.  I would have met with the former student and pointed out that this was beginning to smell like extortion, which is a state and Federal felony.   I would have told him that his best financial alternative is something like a $100,000 from TMZ.  Furthermore, he better have independent evidence or they would not run the story and he would end up with bupkis.

Any agreement would have had a non-disclosure provision requiring the former student to repay the money if he ever talks.

The money would have been wired into the lawyer’s trust account and paid to the former student from the firm account. All this without breaking the law.

Does this seem tasteless?  Probably.

Illegal. No.

The only active question of law breaking would have related to extortion by the former student.  He may have been the victim in the 1970’s, but now he was potentially the perp.

Is this solution foolproof? No.  But it was certainly better than what that Hastert did.

The whole sordid affair brings to mind an observation that sums up “Coach” Hastert’s stupidity:

“Those who can do, do.

“Those who can’t do, teach”.

In this case we must add the Woody Allen corollary:

“Those who can’t teach, teach gym”.



7 Responses to “Nixon Dethroned As The King Of Coverup”

  1. modeengunch says:

    Hell, by the headline I thought this was about Hillary Clinton.

  2. Alice McGill says:

    Is Rosie O’Donnell still the Queen of Coverup? Some of those tabloid pictures of her in a bathing suit are frightening. Please do not take away her coverup.

  3. Wylie says:

    Nixon will always be the King of Cover Ups. He almost destroyed the nation. This guy only damaged himself.

    Bill “what does It mean” Clinton is pretty bad, too.

  4. GoodFella says:

    I have a Plan B to suggest. In his political travels throughout the great state of Illinois and Chicagoland in particular, wouldn’t Hastert have met plenty of tough guys who would have been delighted to make some pesky former molestation victims disappear in exchange for, say, a juicy Interstate highway contract or two?

  5. carolina says:

    Bill may be “pretty bad”, but when Bill was in office, all of us lived much better financially than we ever have since Bill was in office.

  6. Lamberti is a Criminal says:

    Obama, Shrillary, Terrorist laywer Holder … all did much worse than Nixon and all lied about it. Nixon pales in comparison with the Dem love children.

  7. Who Got the $$$$$$$ says:

    Is this a turf war East Coast vs West Coast or Crips and Bloods?