Jeff Foxworthy Might Be An Idiot


As I sit here it  is Tuesday March 13, 2012 and the good folks of Alabama and Mississippi are  heading to the polls to decide who should be the GOP nominee for  Prez.

The Herald  features a photo of multi-millionaire comedian Jeff Foxworthy campaigning with  multi-multi-millionaire Mitt Romney.

I bring this up  because of the irony that a man who has made a career of projecting himself as  the spokesman for the Southern working-class has thrown his lot in with a  plutocrat whose economic plans for the country center around further tilting the  rules of the game to folks like the two of them.

It is one of the  great contradictions of self interest that states like Alabama and Mississippi  are the most conservative, religious, Obamacare hating and the most self  righteous.  Yet, at the same time  they get the most Federal money per-captia, have the highest homicide rates,  worst educational system and are the least healthy and the  poorest.

Certainly since  the Civil War the White working-class of the Deep South has been sold a pile of  BS based on the twin concepts of R & R—”religion” and “race”. We need more god and less government and  then everything will be fine.

And it’s people  like Jeff Foxworthy that have helped make that package attractive. 

Karl Marx may not  have been right about much but he was correct when he observed that: “Religion  is the opiate of the masses”.

What he missed was  the issue of race which he did not see would emerge as a central issue of the  next 150 years.

Using the  Foxworthy patter, allow me to straighten out Bubba and Company when they think  the GOP gives a crap abut them.


If you think that  repeating magical incantations during Homeroom, i.e. prayer, will improve American  education…you might be an idiot.

If you hate  Obamacare and the Emergency Room is your Primary Care physician…you might be an  idiot.

If your  cholesterol is 350 and you think an R.C. Cola, a MoonPie and pork rinds are the  three food groups…you might be an idiot.

If you think it  was just a bunch of greedy lawyers that made up the story about cigarettes being  bad for you…you might be an idiot.

If you think  everything they taught after the 6th grade was a waste of time…you  might be an idiot.

If you think that  being poor and White is better than being Black and anything…you might be an  idiot. 

If your sure  Saddam Hussein attacked us on September 11…you might be an  idiot.

If you’re making  minimum wage selling Krystal Burgers and you think millionaires need another tax  cut…you might be an idiot.


If all your  political discussions always involve the observation that: “there’s a goddamn  n***** in the White House”…then you might be an idiot and you are definitely a  New South Republican.

24 Responses to “Jeff Foxworthy Might Be An Idiot”

  1. Oodles says:

    Nothing the matter with a Moon Pie. And Sam, if you think we Southerners are the most self-righteous of Americans, I doubt you’ve ever met a New Yorker.

  2. Sam the Sham says:

    Sam’s idol, Karl Marx, says, “Religion is the opiate of the masses,” but since Sam eschews religion, he goes straight for the real thing.

    If you say all religious practices and symbols must be forbidden all students, you might be an Obama voter.

    If you love Obamacare and the Emergency Room is your Primary Care physician…you might be an Obama voter.

    If you are a 30 year old student who thinks that others should pay for your birth control, you might be an Obama voter.

    If you think a bunch of greedy lawyers sued the tobacco companies out of a sense of altruism, you might be an Obama voter.

    If you think that public schools have not failed their students and society in general, you might be an Obama voter.

    If you are Black and vote for someone only because he is also Black, you might be an Obama voter.

    If you think that Saddam Hussein did not support terrorists, you might be an Obama voter.

    If you work for a living and you believe that your employer should pay more in taxes instead of investing in his business and hiring more people, you might be an Obama voter.

    If you are a (former) New York Liberal who thinks there is a Messiah in the White House, you are definitely an Obama voter, and should move the Hell out of Florida.

  3. Git R Done says:

    Oh No, NOT FOXWORTHY??? For heavens sake why?

  4. Woody72 says:

    @Sam the Sham
    Im voting for family values this year. PALIN / RICE 2012

  5. Duke says:

    Good stuff Mr. Fields.

  6. Duke says:

    About a week ago I was watching the primary election returns from Georgia, and CNN was interviewing an elderly woman who had voted for Gingrich. When asked what she liked about Gingrich, the woman replied.. “He’s just a good ole boy. Sara Palin needs to get behind him.”

  7. Watcher says:

    did you see the Bama voter call Obama a “halfbreed”…we stupid liberals are surprised…Sham…there are idiots on both sides, you are not but you ought not play chess

  8. What Would Reagan Do? says:

    Assuming Sam looks in the mirror at least once a day I believe he is the foremost expert on what an idiot looks like.

  9. sam fields says:

    Dear Sham,
    I notice that you, like the overwhelming majority of my critics,
    substitute name-calling for legitimate dispute.
    I am hardly the first person to note that religion and race have been used by the Southern plutocrats to keep poor and working Whites and Blacks at odds.
    But just to show you how you know nothing about politics and history allow be to point out that your reference to Saddam as a terrorist—impliedly against the U.S.—is bullshit.
    Thought the 1980’s we supported him with arms and intelligence in his war with Iran. We turned a blind eye to his genocide and use of chemical weapons. The Internet is loaded with photos of him with his best buddies Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld.
    In the summer of 1990, when he started to put his army along the Kuwaiti border,( a story in and of itself) Sect of State James Baker and Ambassador April Glaspie restated that we were friends and made clear that his was a local issue that the Arabs needed to work out among themselves.
    He took this to mean that we did not give a shit about Kuwait.
    Thus we ended up in the first of two completely unnecessary wars.
    This scumbag had no issue with us until we created one to pulled the Kuwaiti chestnuts out of the fire while the Kuwaiti royals hid out and partied in Europe

  10. Duke says:

    If you think Sara Palin is qualified to be president, you ARE an idiot.

  11. a murray says:

    Loved eveyword of this please give me more to feast on

  12. What Would Reagan Do? says:

    Would’ve felt more comfortable about Palin’s credentials if she’d had the practical experience of a community organizer.

  13. Sam the Sham says:

    My Dear Sam,

    It is commendable for you to be consistent, but you get no extra points for being consistently wrong. As far as name calling, I apologize for implying that you use opiates but it was the only conclusion I could reasonably come to after reading your screed. My mistake. It seems that your lack of talent and inability to put cogent thoughts into words comes naturally to you. Further, I count the word “idiot” in your post at least nine times. I guess that when an elite Liberal Democrat, such as yourself, uses that word, it is not name calling but is a “legitimate dispute”. My mistake again.

    Speaking of bullshit, your little foray out into left field about Saddam was very interesting. You may have inferred that I was writing about Saddam’s terrorist activities against the US, but I implied nothing of the kind. Really Sam, as I told you before, you need to brush up on your reading comprehension skills. I hope you are more careful than that when dealing with your clients. In your spare time you might look up how Saddam rewarded the families of Palestinian “Martyrs” after they blew themselves up killing Israelis. While you are at it, look up how he supported terrorist training camps in Iraq.

    There is an old quote that I bet a smart political history buff like you might recognize, “We have no permanent allies, we have no permanent enemies, we only have permanent interests.” We used Saddam for our purposes as long as he was useful. We cast him aside when he was no longer useful. As an attorney, you should know all about using people and later casting them aside.

    It was very lazy of you to cite Wikipedia. As you know, that website is notoriously inaccurate and cannot be relied upon. However, even in the link you posted, there were several versions of the events at odds with your version. Maybe you should have read the whole thing before using that reference. At this point, I would venture to say that what actually occurred cannot be verified and almost everything said on the subject is just plain opinion, not fact. But why would you need facts when it ruins a perfectly good (bullshit) story?

  14. sam fields says:

    Dear Duke,
    If anyone has a doubt about how ignorant, nasty and unqualified Palin was to b e VP check out the HBO movie GAME CHANGE about how the Mayor of Wasilla almost became a heartbeat away from the Presidency.
    My favorite was the part where they discover that she did not know why there was both a North Korea and a South Korea.
    A close second was when she thought that if there was a dispute with England she would have to call Queen Elizabeth II to settle the issue.

  15. The Real Truth says:

    1. If you think that your forefathers died for your right to pray….you just might know the real truth
    2. If you think your doctor and are better suited than the federal government to make your health care physicians…you just might know the real truth
    3. If your cholesterol is 350 and you want to drink an R.C. Cola and eat a moonpie, its your choice (stupid but yours to make) that is what freedom is about…and you just might know the real truth

    I could go on and on in the same vein, but I think you get the idea. There is no shame in being white, there is no shame in believing in a higher power, and there is no shame from being from the South. What is shameful is characterizing others as ignorant just because they don’t see things the way you do. If you want to celebrate diversity, how about starting with diversity of thought?
    p.s. there is no shame in being successful

  16. What Would Reagan Do? says:

    Sam doesn’t believe in God but he believes GAME CHANGE is a documentary. Enjoy the Kool Aid, Sam!

  17. sam fields says:

    Dear Reagan and Truth
    If I have a weakness it is that I do not gladly suffer fools.

    You apparently think some “three tooth goober” who wants to throw his lot in with the billionaires should be immune from criticism.

    I “un”respectfully disagree.

    Do you really believe that I should be paying the medical bill for “Goober’s” third heart attack and diabetes because he won’t get health insurance…which is the present case?

    Perhaps you think I should pay to fix his front bumper because he chooses not to get collusion coverage on his 1998 Camero…you know, the one with primer paint on the front doors?

    In what world do you think our “forefathers died for your right to pray”.

    I suggest you start with the Declaration of Independence. Surely the shopping list of dozens of complaints against George III must have accidently overlooked that he was stopping us from freely praying.

    Too bad you were not there to straighten out the “Commie bastards” like Franklin, Jefferson, etc.

    The history of religious oppression in the New World is the history of religion and not government.

    You can start with the Catholic missionaries who accompanied the Spanish explorers. “Let’s kidnap torture and murder the natives to show them the love of Jesus Christ our lord and savior.”

    “We are shoving this red hot poker up your ass and giving you these blankets infected with smallpox show the Son of God’s “infinite mercy”.

    Not that the Protestants were much better with the North American natives.

    Let’s talk about who really started The War On Christmas”. Sorry Bill O’Reilly it was not the ACLU. It was the Puritans who outlawed the holiday in 1621…it was a little to Papist for them.

    I suggest you check out things and people like The Flushing Remonstrance, William Penn and Roger Williams.

    You quickly come to conclude that it is not the actions of some secular humanist government that has oppressed religion. It is one religion getting control of government that has used the power of the state to oppress other religions.

    You guys can write. I suggest you learn how to read.

  18. Sam the Sham says:

    You are looking desperate, Sam.

  19. sam fields says:

    Dear Sham
    what a clever response.

    Anytime you want to debate me even at a GOP event i will be more than willing to showup.

    You don’t even have the guts to use your real name.

  20. Sam the Sham says:


    This is the venue that you have chosen to spout your drivel so I am quite happy to debate you here. I note you could not address a single thing I wrote except to say I was a name caller. Very weak Sam.

    If you can’t take my posts here, you can get Buddy to ban me or you can just run away and hide.

  21. christine says:

    Hey Sam, merely because you post under your name does not make you wise, intelligent or correct. Just sayin’.

  22. The Real Truth says:

    What you don’t understand is liberty and with it freedom and with freedom comes responsibility.
    No one said you need to pay for anyone’s bumper or health coverage as a result of their poor choices. If you want to make poor health choices then you should be free to do it…and you should bear the responsibility for the consequences. Your anti-religion rant is so off topic I suggest you take your own advice and pick up a Bible and do a little reading. Just because you don’t believe in God doesn’t mean he doesn’t believe in you :o)

  23. sam fields says:

    Dear Real,
    You finally agree with what I have written before about how to treat persons that refuse to spend $$$$ on health insurance.
    If we are not going to require health insurance we need to repeal the laws that require health care providers ( hospitals public and private) to treat anyone who walks in the door.
    You don’t want to spend money for health care for your family and you and your kid gets injured or cancer then too damn bad. Providers would be told that they have absolute immunity to refuse service. If they choose to provide it they will NOT be reimbursed.
    If you are really poor you will get Medicaid
    As for your God crap let me advise you that, unlike believers, I have actually read the Bible and your version of a god is a psycho with a Saddam Hussein personality disorder. Like Saddam, your god, including Jesus, is an egotistical maniac who demands worship of him above and to the exclusion of all other conduct.
    Anne Frank, a Jew, went to hell. But if Hitler, in his last seconds accepted Jesus and asked for forgiveness of his sins he get the good result.
    As the 2010 Pew Charitable Trust survey showed the most knowledgeable people about religion were atheists. The least knowledgeable were the most fervent believers.

    Anytime you would like to discuss this in person I am available. Buddy will connect us.

    I suspect the results will be the same. When confronted with the facts you will walk off with your head hung low calling be some version of “Mr. Smartypants”.

  24. Larry the cable guy says:

    If you don’t know the difference between a contraction and a possessive pronoun, you shouldn’t call someone else an idiot.

    If your sure Saddam Hussein attacked us on September 11…you might be an idiot.


    Thanks for your comments.

    I want to make it clear here that “Larry The Cable Guy” is commenting on Sam Fields and not me, Buddy Nevins…not that I’m an English maven. Far from it.

    Apparently my knowledge of the rule of English was passable, since I made living as a writer for the past 40 years. Of course, I depended upon copy editors to clean up my writing for most of those many years.

    Sam Fields is no English maven, either. He has a degree in Russian studies and then a law degree. Maybe judges reading his motions don’t know the difference between a contraction and a possessive pronoun, or don’t care. Because he has made a comfortable living.