Fields: Hey, Mom. I’m On TV!

Guest Columnist

I have to admit that I watch MTV’s social train wreck “Jersey Shore.  For those not familiar, it’s a reality show about eight “Twenty- Somethings sharing a beach house.

The criteria are that they did not know each other.  And here is the key—they have to act out like the most obnoxious stereotype of urban Italian-Americans as each publicly proclaims that he or she is the “Biggest Guido.
Think “The Sopranos: The Early Years with plastic covers on the living room furniture. It’s a show where the “smart one did almost a whole semester at Monmouth Community College.
I look forward to the sequels:

  • “Boca Condo: The Jewyist Jew.  Competition in includes the whiniest voice and bargain shopping designer clothes. The winner is the girl who hooks up with the most successful plastic surgeon.
  • “The Inkwell: 2010.  It’s a summer festival of gold teeth, big booties and hula hoops earrings as the kids try to convert their  Foods Stamps into weed money. 
  • “Abu Dhabi Shore. It’s a laugh riot summer of burkas and bombs. Depending on your point of view, the highlight or lowlight of the show is stoning to death one of the girls who accidentally shows bare ankle.

3 Responses to “Fields: Hey, Mom. I’m On TV!”

  1. Wally says:

    There should be another reality show called Bad Day At The Crystal Palace, where school board members try to hide bags of cash before the FBI arrests them.

  2. victormature says:

    Well, you just lost CREDS with me..I can’t believe you watch that crap. Listening to Howard is one thing (i like him too) but watching MTV and THEN bashing it is another..I watch the spin off on the HISTORY CHANNEL..Haifa Shore..where the great grandkids of Martin Buber, Wallace Berry and John Birch..degrade and debace themselves for fame.

  3. howie fields says:

    Hello, brother! You should write a piece on “Millionaire Matchmaker”, that other show I see you watch all the time at home. What a gal, that Patty is. Love you, brother! Can’t wait to see you again next Thanksgiving!