Fields: New Conspiracy to Help Obama
BY SAM FIELDS
As part of the latest step in the “liberal media–high tech lynching” conspiracy of Herman Cain a fourth woman has come forward now claiming that she was sexually assaulted by the GOP frontrunner.
Allow me to explain that this is all part of a conspiracy that is older, bigger and deeper than some liberal media wimps. Its basic goal is to get Barack Obama a second term so he can turn this country over to…you fill in the blank.
By the late 1950’s the KGB concluded that nuclear weapons made a military victory over the USA impossible. So it was then and there that the Politburo of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union decided to insert what we would now call “A Manchurian Candidate” in the White House.
Knowing that the growing civil rights movement would eventually make a Black electable to the White House, they bred Barack Hussein Obama by inducing the woman who became his mother to come to Kenya and impregnating her with a local.
To further their credibility, and make it seem like he was born in the US of A, they planted a fake birth certificate in the Hawaiian government records along with birth announcements in the local newspapers.
Now you’re going to have to wait for my book to find out how the assassinations of JFK, RFK , MLK and the Reagan shooting all play into this. But take my word they do.
Suffice it to be that by the 1990’s the Russkies had convinced the world that the Soviet Union had collapsed so they were able to put forward anyone they wanted since the public had bought the notion that the Commie threat was over.
Correctly assessing that in 2012 the Republicans might figure that “it takes one to catch one,” they looked around and concluded that businessman Herman Cain was the most likely person. So in the late 1990’s they phonied up some sexual harassment charges that they were able to plant like time bombs which would go off when they wanted.
As an aside, you don’t really believe it was accident that Rick Perry was tricked into owning a piece of property called “niggerhead”?
Something else you need to know. Ever notice that you have never seen Mitt Romney walking through a metal detector? Admit it, you haven’t. That’s because he is an android planted by the KGB.
Anyway back to the issue before us. Herman Cain is the victim of a long-coming Soviet plot to discredit this great American.
And if you don’t believe me then you must be part of the plot…ask Glenn Beck. Wherever he is.
November 14th, 2011 at 9:18 pm
Did anyone see Tim Stevens (a/k/a “Chaz” Stevens) on the news tonight regarding Sylvia P.?
One look at that troll and there is no mystery, None! as to why he is unlucky at love.
Shezam!
November 15th, 2011 at 12:14 am
I didnt know that
November 15th, 2011 at 10:01 am
Speaking of Chaz Stevens, that reminds me that gadflies and neighborhood crackpots have always provided society with an entertaining, irreverent, and useful role in keeping governments small and large on the straight and narrow.
Sometimes on track and sometimes not, they help keep bureaucrats and elected types in check and on their toes, always thinking twice, and forever looking over their shoulders. They give meaning to the brilliance of free speech and perform a public service by constantly helping scrape that annoying crust of hubris that tends to build up on all of our government types.
They keep things more honest by being perfectly blunt. The gadfly is democracy’s friend. At least, they can be. Some in the public call them chapions. Some are misinformed by them. Some are reliable and some have hidden agendas. No matter which, in government circles, they’re referred to as assholes.
Because let’s face it, gadfly is a yesterday word. It in no way describes today’s champions of government citzen counter-culture. Oh no, modern day gadflyism has have evolved well beyond it’s original constraints. Today, we we can proudly say that we live in the modern era of the professional asshole.
Yes friends, being an asshole has become a profession. In time there may a degree program offered in asshole science will likely be offered at all our major universities. Minimally, there will be a certification program, headed up by our best nationally ranked assholes, so that we can distinguish one asshole from the other based on quality. Based on the attainment of professional standards.
At present, those credentials seem to include not bathing, not having a job to speak of, being physically and sexually revolting, having an undiagnosed or poortly treated mental illness, not having much of a personality, not being particularly welcomed to attend house parties, bad breath, and yet having this need to be noticed and recognized for at least having a point of view. Oh, a clear need for anger management helps also.
Add a dash of fucking crazy and just enough research to allow a three minute rant on a microphone, and you have the makings of a modern day professional asshole.
From there, all they need is a blog to make them legitimate.
DISCLAIMER: I aim this not at the host of the present blog who made his chops years ago, legitimately as a reporter and does not (no matter his wife says) fall into the aforementioned asshole category. Rather, we aim this message so many other lost souls, including the children among us who aspire to be tomorrow’s assholes (they are our future) all sharing that same psychological drive. To reach out to the non-asshole population for that much neded small measure of recognition. Self-validation. Whatever it is the asshole yearns for. That hunger must and will be fed.
However, let’s not discount the fact that sometimes the professional asshole hits the bullseye right in the sweet spot. We’ve seen it happen. They do on occasion catch a perfect wave of information. And that wave does sometimes to a great revelation as if to underscore that old chestnut that even a blind pig finds an acorn sometimes.
True, most of the times they’re just assholes.
But some of the time they’re brilliant. And at the end of the day, what truly separates one asshole from another, what makes the asshole tolerable if not their ability, at any given time, to turn pro?
November 15th, 2011 at 12:51 pm
All I know is that I saw Herman Cain’s wife last night on TV. She is right on the money in descrbing how Cain must have a dual personality to have done what he is accused and has done with other women.
On the other hand, Mrs. Cain comes across on TV as someone who is not “freaky” enough for a man with a big ego who speaks in the third person. She does seem very mild and like someone Cain could steamroll. A stepford wife perhaps.
On the other hand, I never trust men who wear certain types of hats like Cain does. I saw Jack Ambramoff wear the same style hat and it bothers me.