Fields: Cheerleaders In Burquas and Other Thoughts

Guest Columnist

Thanks to the Republican Florida legislature, in November 2012 we will have opportunity to amend the Florida Constitution to allow tax dollars to flow to private religious schools.

While you may be thinking schools with names like Our Lady of the Holy Agony or Shalom Knish, those same tax dollars could be used to fund a Wahabi school named Osama Bin Ladin Memorial High School.

And there ain’t a damn thing you could do about it.

Instead of the National Anthem, they will start football games by burning The Stars and Stripes while singing the school anthem–“Death to America.

When the quarterback of the “Fightin’ Fatwas gets ready to throw “the bomb, he may not have a football in mindor in his hand.

Senior Superlative for “Most School Spirit will go to the first 12th grader to become a suicide bomber.

Chemistry class will concentrate on the properties of “nitrates.

Honors courses will include “aeronautics.

“Two bits, four bits, six bits a dollar, all who hate America, stand up and holler.

Defusing Broward’s Black/Police Tension

When the police surround a home in a Black community and order the occupants to come out with their hands up, it is not a good idea to come out with a gununless you announce you are Circuit Court Judge Ilona Holmes.

In this case, when the smoke cleared, no one was arrested and  the sheriff apologized to Holmes and her family.

It got me thinking that a way to defuse future black/police confrontations in Broward is to have a Circuit Court Judge move in with every Black family.

Goodbye to the NFL

South Florida has unequivocally proved to be the nation’s best location for the Superbowl.

Notwithstanding that we are “Party Central, the NFL has made it clear that unless South Florida taxpayers pony up $250,000,000 to dome the privately-owned Joe Robbie Stadium–I will stick with that name–we shall never see another Superbowl.

Take majority owner Stephen Ross. Throw in minority owners Wayne Huizenga, Venus and Serena Williams, Gloria and Emilio Estefan with a touch of Marc Anthony and J-Lo and you have a combined wealth  of lots of $$$$.

It would be political suicide for any politician to support the stadium tax.  Taxpayers can’t afford a $250 million gift to billionaires.

For the price of a couple of Superbowl tickets, I can build a media room with a 60-inch plus TV. And I won’t have to pay $50 bucks to park my car and $11 for a beer.

So if Ross and the NFL really feel that way let them take the team and the game and  move to say Youngstown, Ohio.


God Hates Alabama


The recent spate of tornados that struck the Deep South has left over 300 dead.

Two things are certain.  By dumb luck some individuals escaped death.  Second, they will thank a god as if their survival was the result of supernatural intervention.

I will go along with that as long as we agree that this same god also killed 300 for some inexplicable reason.

Among the hardest hit was Tuscaloosa, Alabama. That’s  the home of the University of Alabama.

I have a theory about that.

The Hebrews in Exodus offended god by making an idol out of a golden calf. So it seems reasonable that Yahweh was pissed off that the Crimson Tide had just erected a statue to its head football coach Nick Saban.

Even the Creator knows the former Dolphin is an asshole.


7 Responses to “Fields: Cheerleaders In Burquas and Other Thoughts”

  1. ExCompassionate Conservative says:

    The NFL and the Dolphins can kiss my big white bulbous ass if they expect me to pay for their PRIVATE business instead of my children’s public school education and other Broward county residents education.

    Sam, since you are a lawayer, is there any way that the bill our Gov wants to force welfare recipients to be drug tested can be applied to those Welfare Queens who recieve tax dollars for their sports franchises in Florida? I would like to see the owners and all employees of those teams who engage in such outright socialism and income redistribution to be drug tested before taxpayer money is used on their welfare bum lifestyles.

  2. dr_augusta says:

    Isn’t this interesting? Sam, a true “blue” American fanning the flames of anti-Muslim rhetoric….who would have thought?????

  3. Tiny Bubbles says:

    Dr. Augusta! Don’t you realize that any bigots can call themselves a church and get State Money under the amendment? State Sen. Nan Rich said,”This measure would write into the Florida Constitution the unfettered right of individuals to direct state dollars to religious extremists that espouse … virulently anti-Semitic, racist and other extremist views.”

  4. watcher says:

    my cheer…hooray for Rick Scott…he’s a horse’s ass

  5. SAM FIELDS says:

    Dear Doc
    I was making fun of the Jews, Catholics and the Muslims.

    I am an equal opportunity bigot

  6. zigytwo says:

    sam u might be a bigot but u r cute

  7. electricjack says:

    Its bad enough the liars from the fins raped us for a new stadium that certainly was not needed an never will show a dime of its cost. The NFL wants more then let them pay for it. A special tax on over wealthy business owners you socialists want to give away others money. Then give to Joes House or get out of town do not give them a single dime its a ripoff the marlins had a net profit of 657 Million Bucks screw the dolphins if they want to move I wave bye bye