Fields: Abstain From Abstinence
BY SAM FIELDS
GUEST COLUMNIST
It’s the little news articles that are often the most interesting.
Sunday the Miami Herald in its “Nation Briefs” column (11/30/08) carries a story from Chicago reporting on the nuptials of Melody LaLuz and Claudaniel Fabien.
What’s so unusual about Mel and Claude?
The two teach abstinence courses in Chicago Public Schools.
Practicing what they preach, they claim to not only have never done the nasty, but they claim they have never kissed or even been alone in the same house.
What could go wrong with this marriage? I can’t imagine.
So what is this all about? Dear readers, I invite your comments and theories. A few of my own:
1. This is a gag.
2. The couple was convinced they were living in Sicily in the 18th century.
3. Its all true with no back story.
4. If you had dinner at the groom’s house you may want to rethink the apple pie.
5. Claude seemed overly interested in selecting dresses for the bridesmaids.
December 1st, 2008 at 10:06 am
They probably practiced abstince with each other but who know what was going on behind closed doors with other partners. ????
December 1st, 2008 at 10:07 am
Another thought, “read my lips I did not have sex with that woman” hehehehe
December 1st, 2008 at 11:41 am
Purchased pleasures from ladies of the night for him and for her, a case of AA batteries to go with her Ladies’ Home Companion.
December 2nd, 2008 at 8:22 am
Fields’ mother and father should have practiced abstinence.