Blogger Forces City To Celebrate Seinfeld’s “Festivus”

 

A Festivus pole made of beer cans is on Federal Highway next to religious symbols

BY BUDDY NEVINS

 

Blogger Chaz Stevens has done it again.

After complaining about religious holiday symbols being allowed on city property, the atheist blogger was permitted to erect a pole constructed out of beer cans at the corner of Federal Highway and Hillsboro Boulevard.

Stevens said the pole celebrates the fictional holiday of Festivus popularized by the Seinfeld television show.

The pole is near the menorah and the crèche or manger scene that prompted Stevens’ complaint. He felt having religious symbols on city property was a violation of the Constitutional separation of church and state.

Stevens had the help of the American Civil Liberties Union.

Festivus was described by the Seinfeld show to be a secular holiday on December 23.

Stevens’ pole is constructed from 23 Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans.

He wrote in a news release that the beer can construction is an attempt to mirror the Seinfeld show’s description of the ideal Festivus celebration.

The Festivus pole was described by Seinfeld character Frank Costanza in the episode “The Strike” like this:  “It requires no decoration.  I find tinsel distracting….Its made from aluminium. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.”

Stevens noted that beer cans are aluminum and have “high strength-to-weight ratio.”

Stevens is a well-known blogger who has been instrumental in exposing corruption in Deerfield Beach and Lauderdale Lakes, among other places.  He posts frequently in the comments section of Browardbeat.com



35 Responses to “Blogger Forces City To Celebrate Seinfeld’s “Festivus””

  1. Chaz Stevens, Genius says:

    Hey Buddy.

    As of 7:34, our Festivus Pole, conveniently located about six feet away from the Baby Jesus, was still alive and well.

    http://www.browardbeat.com/blogger-forces-city-to-celebrate-seinfelds-festivus/

  2. Broward Deserves Better says:

    The difference is that while some people are celebrating their religious beliefs, this person is trying to make fun of other’s religious beliefs. The United States Constitution does call for the separation of Church and State, not the separation of Church from State. The reasons why Mr. Stevens has a right to be atheist and not celebrate any religious holiday is the same reasons why people should be allowed to celebrate their religious holiday. But one should be respectful enough not to try to make fun of someone for their beliefs, as it is no different than making fun of someone for the color of their skin, handicap, or sexual orientation. And this came from the same person that was upset with a Cooper City Commissioner for his racist remarks. One is no better than the other.

    Remember, most of our governing laws are based off of religious teachings, and if we were to completely remove all religious ideas from government, what would stop me from murdering my neighbor? Most religions teach universal ideas that are good for mankind, religious or not. And I believe that respecting one another is one that more people in society need to try harder to accomplish.

  3. Ben_Dover says:

    Come on already. When will people give it a rest? The US Constitution grants the freedom OF religion, not FROM religion. You don’t like it, ignore it. Find something constructive to do with your own time and don’t infringe on mine.

  4. Seth Platt says:

    This is hysterical.
    When do the Airing of Grievances begin?

  5. Chaz Stevens, Genius says:

    @Murdering your neighbor…

    Western civilization may have been “built” on Judeo-Christian values (at least the “don’t kill” and “don’t steal” parts), but we have become a modern society and have adopted the scientific way of thinking.

    While the aforementioned values have indisputable merits, maintaining the dogma in its entirety is no longer necessary, especially when we consider the violence and segregation it has caused throughout the ages.

    Furthermore, philosophically speaking, Christian ethics are severely outdated.

    Since the Enlightenment, the Western World has seen far superior ethicists to Jesus of Nazareth.

    Kant and Mill, for example, created life-affirming ethical systems that can be applied to a wider range of people without destroying their culture or beliefs about where the universe came from and what kind of sex they should consider perverse.

    Truly, there is no reason to cling to the old way any longer.

    We have adopted science and reason in every other aspect of our lives… yet somehow we have retained Bronze Age ethics?

    It makes no sense.

    Why should we continue to believe it is better to be tribalists than to be humanists? This mentality is not compatible with a just, egalitarian society.

    Besides, Jesus may tell us to love one another, but he also says we should maintain the Old Testament in its entirety – no cherry-picking – which means we technically must condone rape, incest, slavery, and genocide (!).

    If we can do away with these parts (and we have), why not do away with the whole thing?

  6. Tommy says:

    As the individual that actually constructed this pole for Mr. Stevens, and also as the same person that enjoys celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah & every other holiday available, I would suggest that anyone offended by this display is a narrow minded idiot. Remember, just about EVERYONE on the planet is an atheist to according to someone else’s religion. We might as well get over our pompous selves and enjoy life instead of worrying about not subscribing to a particular self-righteous group’s beliefs founded in nothing more than faith and lore. Next year we celebrate pastafarianism. It’s going to be a hoot.

  7. thank you broward says:

    Whereas, There is a long western history of a town crier, town drunk, village idiot, and other notorious self appointed positions of self-righteousness.

    Now, Therefore this pole and spot now and forever be dedicated every year to the circle jerk of Browards self important political hacktivists.

  8. Kevin says:

    What about the Feats of Strength??

  9. Ed Foley says:

    Sadly, too many in Broward lack humor and tolerance. Plus a beer can pole can be recycled, though not as mulch.

  10. Reality of it all says:

    Hey, I have no problem with the pole, it is just as worthy as the other holiday displays.

    The issue I have is the motivation behind the poll. Are we really to believe this was about holiday equality?

    Just another attempt by Chaz for self promotion. If he had accomplished this without self congratuations I would have believed it was done in the true spirit of eqaulity.

    Go look on Chaz’s site, he puts up multiple articles a day, at best maybe he gets 1-3 comments on every 20th article. Why do you think he is all over this blog? To steer traffic to his blog.

    Let’s be clear, this display is not about the Constitution, religious freedom, freedom of expression etc it’s simply more self promotion for Chaz.

  11. christine says:

    A pole in Deerfield Beach comprised of a cheap brand of beer cans. What a fitting display to the deification of death by a self admitted alcoholic . Cheers!

  12. Chaz Stevens, Genius says:

    So here’s the thing.

    In the US, we have the Separation of Church and State and freedom of religion.

    You can’t pick and choose… They’re a package deal.

    The Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole (c) is an expression of my rights guaranteed by the Constitution.

    So if you have a problem with my pole (pun!), you’re obviously an anti-social jerk who hates America, Chevrolets, apple pie, and of course, beer.

  13. Thomas says:

    Here in Dayton Ohio, Festivus has been celebrated in style for more than a decade. We gather Dec 23 by the hundreds see some of our favorite bands in large rented halls under the slogan ‘Festivus for the rest of us.’ But this is the first time I have ever heard that it all started on a seinfeld episode. Kinda like most christians wouldn’t admit that Dec. 25th was the birthday of Mythos and the holiday was assimilated into their cult from a dozen different pagan traditions.
    Remember, at one time Christmas was a made up holiday.

  14. Peter Merkin says:

    “Kant and Mill, for example, created life-affirming ethical systems that can be applied to a wider range of people” Really? Their system helped to bring forth the murderous and genocidal system called Marxism. Not hardly life affirming in that 100,000,000 or more people were sacrificed on its altar.

  15. Chaz Stevens, Genius says:

    Peter;

    Really?

    Where did you come up with that? A five-minute review of Wiki?

    When you’ve studied this matter, say for a minimum of, let’s go with five years, you come find me.

    Bumper sticker notions don’t work with The Genius.

  16. justme says:

    festivus for the rest of us!

  17. Chaz Stevens, Penis says:

    Let me see if I got this right: when he’s not cluttering local websites with unfunny racist, misogynist, homophobic comments, this vulgar, classless doofus who refers to himself as a genius, spends his days drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and watching twenty year old sitcoms?

  18. Ghost in the nite says:

    The Festivus pole will miraculously disappear into the night.

  19. Christine says:

    @Ghost

    Could ya take Chaz with you to disappear miraculously into the night as well? Please!

  20. Christine says:

    @ Ghost

    I mean as long as you are taking the pole….

  21. Steve Geller says:

    While much of this is amusing, there are very serious issues involving religious freedom where Government is involving itself.

    In 2008, my last year in the Senate, I debated the issue of evolution, and whether “Scientific Creationism”, or any other religious belief that had ANY published backup could be taught in the public schools. This isn’t Tennessee in 1925 (Scopes Monkey Trial), this was the Florida Senate in 2008. We lost. As I recall, every Democrat but one and 5 or 6 Republicans voted with me, but we still lost.

    I guarantee you, and pointed out in debate, that if Wicca, Islam, Hindu multitheism, or some more esoteric beliefs (Raelism: we’re an experiment planted by aliens; We’re all travelling through space on the back of a turtle; or my favorite, Pastafarianism, a/k/a the Church of the Flying Spaghetti monster, look it up)were being taught, there would be an uproar. The bill was not limited to creation beliefs. It was no secret that the bill was being pushed strictly to bring Christian beliefs into the public school system.

    I attend Temple. My children have been bar Mitzvah’d. I consider myself to be a person of Faith. I pay for my religious beliefs and my children’s religious upbringing myself. I don’t ask the Government to pay for it, nor do I seek to impose my particular religious beliefs into public facilities. This is the issue which requires public attention.

  22. PBR?!? says:

    I’m all for Festivius and Pastafarianism and whatever else people want to celebrate, but I hope Chaz didn’t actually have to drink even a single can of Pabst Blue Ribbon. That would be truly heinous torture, MUCH worse than being waterboarded!

  23. enough already says:

    What part of “Festivus for the Rest of Us” don’t people get. When everywhere you look and listen Christmas is being celebrated in song and symbol, and that is just fine. Deck those Halls. What is wrong with a symbol for the “Rest of Us”. It may appear to be a joke, but is it really? In all humor there is some truth. This symbol, in a light way, acknowledges that there are other people with other beliefs. Get over yourselves The “Rest of Us” exist. Try and ask Santa for a sense of humor.

  24. fla cracker says:

    Someone has too much time on their hands.

  25. Broward Deserves Better says:

    Again, it is not that you shouldn’t celebrate your religious holiday, it’s that bragging about putting a beer can pole next to someone religious symbol strictly to be insensitive and prove a point that is wrong. If you want to “create” a holiday, pick a different time of year, or be respectful to others. A beer can pole is his way of being intentionally offense to others. And the first comment he posts is about it still being up. He is waiting for someone to take it down, so he can call people right wng religious nuts, who are trying to hurt his “beliefs.”

    Unfortunately, someone probably will take it down and move it, so he can get the attention he wants. I hope he feels good about the father that takes his kid to see Baby Jesus and has to explain to his child why someone would want to put a beer can pole next to a religious symbol.

    As far as calling himself a genius…. I can’t remember many truly intelligent people referring to themselves that way, but what do I know, I believe in an archaic thing like religion, morals, and treating others with respect.

    I wish everyone a Happy Holiday, and I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year!

  26. Broward Deserves Better says:

    Again, it is not that you shouldn’t celebrate your religious holiday, it’s that bragging about putting a beer can pole next to someone religious symbol strictly to be insensitive and prove a point that is wrong. If you want to “create” a holiday, pick a different time of year, or be respectful to others. A beer can pole is his way of being intentionally offense to others. And the first comment he posts is about it still being up. He is waiting for someone to take it down, so he can call people right wng religious nuts, who are trying to hurt his “beliefs.”

    Unfortunately, someone probably will take it down and move it, so he can get the attention he wants. I hope he feels good about the father that takes his kid to see Baby Jesus and has to explain to his child why someone would want to put a beer can pole next to a religious symbol.

    As far as calling himself a genius…. I can’t remember many truly intelligent people referring to themselves that way, but what do I know, I believe in an archaic things like religion, morals, and treating others with respect.

    I wish everyone a Happy Holiday, and I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year!

  27. Chaz Stevens, Genius says:

    @PBR

    What I have found most offensive is driving down US1 and having to eyeball the menorah and shitty diapered baby jesus.

    As if it wasn’t already bad enough my taxes support religion (as they don’t pay anything).

    The thought of those religious symbols on government property sickens me.

    Almost as bad as having seen Christine naked (which required, mind you, substantial amounts of alcohol and drugs to endure). Imagine the CryptKeeper from Tales from the Crypyt. On a wickedly bad acid trip.

    Or more accurately, imagine the smell of six day old sushi bought at your local Hess.

    PS Dr. Augusta. I gave up both the same night I indicated to you to stop fucking calling me. So, in essence, I’m completely sober now because I no longer look at your disgusting naked body.

    Oh and by the way, I’ve spoken to the Pastor of your Church. In fucking Virginia We had a nice long talk about your time down here in Florida (and your proclivity to break many of those 10 Commandments).

    My suggestion is don’t fucking tangle with me. Just ignore me. I’ve been polite to date. That’s stopped.

    But I digress.

    So, wanting to make a statement, but limited in how I could accomplish this (aka the Michigan court case), I arrived at a Festivus pole.

    An 8 foot high pole… Made up of really shitty beer.

    That’s the point many are missing.

    I managed quite the coup. Just ask the experts. Ask the ACLU. Ask the professor from Nova.

    What I did was pretty special.

    I was allowed to place an utterly ridiculous symbol (a case of beer stacked vertically) right next to other utterly ridiculous symbol (the menorah and the Baby jesus motel 6).

    Folks across this nation (Santa Monica, Pittsburgh, Arlington) are fighting this fight, right now as we speak, and are loosing the battle.

    How is what I did that not a huge fucking win for those that worry about the marriage of church and state?

    As to having too much time on my hands, I don’t consider the defense of the Constitution a waste of time and effort.

  28. LifesABeach says:

    Thank you Chaz. From, the rest of us who believe that the pole deserves as much (or little) attention as these other silly symbols. Most don’t realize that our founding fathers were deists who didn’t believe in the bible. Today, people want to ignore the absolutely absurd bible parts while shoving the rest down our throats.
    Excuse me now, I need to go make a burnt offering of an ox. I hope my neighbors don’t mind.

  29. oh my says:

    Ok this thread has officially jumped the shark when blohard Steve Geller gets in the mix. Steve you love all religions a long as they are serving a buffett. Go back to your hole as a former irrelevant ex politician. If you want to do something productive, maybe you can go fetch Ron Gunzberger lunch.

  30. Kevin says:

    Anybody who thinks John Stuart Mill was a precursor of Marxism is, to use a precise academic political science term, an idiot.

    That’s like saying George Washington was a precursor of Napoleon, because they were both generals who were good at math.

    Mill was the father of modern libertarianism, which is about as opposite of Marxism as you can get.

    Just sayin’.

  31. ummm says:

    @BDB,

    You are clearly missing the point.

    In America even if you are not a Christian you have to put up with nonsense like “right to life” laws and anti-gay policies like DOMA that openly discriminate against our citizens.

    I, for one, am sick and tired of oppressive religious policies promoted by the “Christian” right, but I am equally as bothered by self-righteous Christians who think the world revolves around them and their baby Jesus. Christmas “sales” start on Thanksgiving furcryinoutloud. Get over yourself and your false sense of persecution.

    I think the Festivus pole should be an annual fixture.

  32. Ghost in the nite says:

    Tonight shall be the night the aluminum trash rises into the recycling pit, Amen

  33. Chaz Stevens, Genius says:

    Hey Buddy;

    Thanks to you, and other members of the MSM, for picking up the story about Chaz’s pole (pun!).

    Just wanted to let you know…

    I’ll be on the Paul and Ron Young Show tomorrow at 8am. Now everyone will get a chance to hear The Genius Live in and Person.

    Also, I’ve been contacted by several national news outlets… I’ll let you know where to turn to when those stories also break.

    Happy Festivus to you.

    C

  34. Kevin says:

    It’s a Festivus MIRACLE!!!!

  35. Unhyphenated-American says:

    Funny stuff! Seinfeld is a comic genius and Festivus is awesome. If you can’t laugh at yourself I feel sorry for you! Happy Festivus, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza, Happy Hanukkah or Happy Holidays…take your pick!

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