Stupidest Idea Of 2016: Miami Civility Court

 

 

BY SAM FIELDS

 

Miami attorney Mikki Canton is one dumb bitch.

Was that uncivil? Absolutely.

And if Canton has her way I will be dragged into the Civility Court that she has proposed. There I could be fined and/or forced to perform community service for being rude, crude and lewd.

Canton, , a muckety muck in the office of Miami Mayor Thomas Regalado, has gone so far as to pitch the idea to the Miami Herald Editorial Board.

 

 

mikki-canton

Mikki Canton

 

According to Canton, America, and South Florida in particular, is facing a crisis of incivility at least as important as rising seas and the Zika virus.

The most recent incident that ticked off Canton was some jerk at a Coral Gables Starbucks who decided his slow service was because he is White and a Trump supporter. He then proceeded to announce it loud and clear that the Black “barrista” was dissing him.

How about kicking the guy out of the store with a “trespass notice” that would criminalize his unwanted return?

I don’t know if Canton’s idea is going to get legs. But if it does, consider the following requirements:

  1. Amending the Constitution to eliminate the “free speech” clause of the First Amendment.
  2. Since this is a civil court and not a criminal court, and enforced “community service” is a form of “involuntary servitude”, we would also have to amend the Thirteenth Amendment. While outlawing slavery, it carved out an “involuntary servitude” exception–but ONLY in criminal cases.
  3. Instruct the Florida Department of Motor Vehicles that, upon issuing or renewing driver’s licenses, they will be required to amputate the driver’s middle finger on the left hand.
  4. Issue arrest warrants for the two Donalds…Trump and Rickles.


10 Responses to “Stupidest Idea Of 2016: Miami Civility Court”

  1. Chaz Stevens, I Heart Satan says:

    Enjoy Free Speech in Action This Holiday Season by Gazing Upon a Satanic Diorama.

    The satanic display made no appearance in 2015; the Satanists had made their point. In its place was a rainbow gay pride Festivus pole constructed by professional provocateur Chaz Stevens. As Stevens explained to me at the time, he chose the gay pride theme because of Kim Davis’ anti-gay crusade in Kentucky. “That just drove me nuts,” Stevens told me. “The very day that happened, I said to myself, those little fuckers! I am going to troll the living shit out of them. I’m going to wrap my pole in gay pride and put a disco ball on the top and stick it in the bowels of the Florida rotunda.” If that’s not free speech in action, what is?

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/open_source_holiday/2016/12/24/enjoy_free_speech_this_holiday_by_looking_at_a_satanic_diorama.html

  2. Count LF Chodkiewicz Chudzikiewicz says:

    Curse words are the language of idiots

  3. City Activist Robert Walsh says:

    I know what you mean lady. Just yesterday Christmas day. I take a friend of mine out to breakfast(just had major operation-enough i don’t violate people’s Hippa rights(like some of u do). Anyways the couple next parking space over was fussing w/ her toddler. No problem. Guy beyound me on Chistmas day yells from his car window(smart get out of that care and i have a hanicapped person w/ me and i feel threatened by u, I will use any force necessary to defend and protect myself-that way if you hurt him Robert your covered). So bozo yells out move up Asshole. I said to myself stay in that car Robert getting arreste don Chritmas day and when u are schuduled to go before gov, and cabinet soon for clemency . I stayed in the car. That man would be perfect for civility court. I w/ her…..

  4. NW Broward MODC says:

    One of the best things I’ve read in a while.

    Let’s not forget the “dress code” suggested for parents of Broward County school children.
    Let’s not forget that describing the worst schools in Broward as “Penitentiary’s” can have advocates for disabled children dismissed as bullies and troublemakers.

    @1 While watching the well intended, polite, respectful yet totally ineffective parents, teachers and advocates address the BCSB about the physical safety of children, one can’t help but secretly wish that C. Stevens was in the room; providing some of his rather spirited input to help fight the good fight for some great kids.

    With reference to the silent victims of the 397 (reported) incidents of sexual offence in Broward County Public Schools in 2014-2015; some of them our beloved disabled children, perhaps it’s time to acknowledge that while we continue to practice PC, use our library voices, choose our words carefully and tiptoe around the issues, nothing has changed.

  5. Chaz Stevens, Genius says:

    Curse words are actually the creation of the limbic region of the brain, not the pre-frontal cortex.

    And, as far as language of idiots, apparently you’ve never read Bukowski… Maybe he’ll come out one day in a Dummy’s yellow book version.

    While we’re at it, how about we include James Joyce D. H. Lawrence, Allen Ginsberg, Norman Mailer, and Erica Jong?

  6. Charlotte Greenbarg says:

    Oh, she’s creating jobs for political hacks. Miami politics as usual.

  7. Count LF Chodkiewicz Chudzikiewicz says:

    Since I not Mr Stevens knew Allen Ginsberg n Norman Mailer I know how knowledgeable Mr Stevens is.

  8. Sam The Sham says:

    Boy, it sure is great to see a bunch of liberals defending the First Amendment, no matter how offensive it might be. Too bad they don’t defend ALL the Amendments with such fervor.

  9. Chaz Stevens, Genius says:

    Really Sham…

    How much of a rallying cry do we need for the 3rd Amendment?

    Go ahead, I’ll wait while you google it.

    I’d assume you’d be all for repealing unlucky #13.

    Go ahead, I’ll wait while you google it.

  10. Chaz Stevens, Genius says:

    Count Choconuts.

    Once, back in the day, I worked for NASA and JPL. There, I learned I wasn’t the smartest guy/girl in the room … quite the opposite.

    One should always assume the fucker typing on your screen is smarter than you.