Fields: Freedom Ends At Golf Tournament
BY SAM FIELDS
Please pity us, the poor victims of the Augusta National Golf Club. We’re victims of another case of oppressed white, male billionaires being victimized by the powerful evil forces of the National Organization of Women (NOW) and their lesbian allies.
Could there be any greater pain than being badmouthed by a bunch of sex crazed, bra burning, women-libbers?
The last defense of freedom tumbled down this week when two women were shoehorned into my beloved Augusta National by political correctness.
Our founder Bobby Jones is turning over in his grave.
The last bastion of American freedom, like the parapets at the Alamo, has been overrun.
One can only think back to the “Golden Days” when members humbly lived like free men.
Who can forget the traditions of the Saturday Night dinner during The Masters? My favorite was handcuffing a couple colored boys to each other’s left hands and have them fight it out. The winner got an extra five dollars. And if they were good “boys” they got to take home our dinner leftovers.
Yes, those were the days of the real free America.
Alas, no more.
Leave White Men Alone
First we were pressured to take in Hebrews. Then in 1990, we were forced to accept “Colored” men.
I’m grateful that Cliff Roberts our, our founding Chairman from 1934 to 1976, was not alive to see these abominations. I so fondly recall his words: “As long as I’m alive, all the golfers will be white and all the caddies will be black.”
Now that was a statement of true equality. It was, as they say on Fox News, “fair and balanced”.
If anything, it was tilted against the White man. After all, members have to pay to be on the course and caddies get paid to be there. It’s pretty obvious the Black caddies got the better end of the deal.
Then came the 2003 Masters. Not content with making us let in Jews and Blacks, now the liberal media was demanding that we let girls (if you could call them that…if you know what I mean) in our boys club.
Fortunately, our leader Hootie Johnson made clear that he would not allow females into Augusta “at the point of a bayonet”.
But, like the men at the Alamo, he held out as long as he could.
So let me conclude by once again calling on all of you to join with me and pity the White, billionaire man. Beseeched on all sides by the liberal media they can feel equal suffering to the victims of The Bataan Death March, Auschwitz and the 9/11.
Oppressed at last, oppressed at last. Deliver us, great God Almighty, for we are oppressed at last.
August 25th, 2012 at 1:52 pm
NOW = National Organization FOR Women, and its time has come and gone.
August 25th, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Really Buddy! I know its not under your name buts its still your site and allowing, even satirically, Sam “I’m an obnoxious prick” Fields to call the first female African american Secretary of state a “negress”. Come on.
FROM BUDDY:
Now that you mention it, I agree. I changed it.
August 25th, 2012 at 3:24 pm
I, too, am an ally of the lesbian. Doubly so, if they are hot!
August 25th, 2012 at 4:13 pm
We don’t want none of that freedom to associate stuff going on around here.
Sam Fields, you are an ass.
BTW, if you want an all male golf club, there is a nice one right here in Broward. Too bad for Sam Fields though. They have a framed picture of him hanging in their lobby with the caption, “No Shit Heads Allowed.”
August 25th, 2012 at 8:31 pm
Recreating the real life views of the founders of Augusta I kinda like the word “negress”. I can guarantee you that that is the nicest thing they called black women.
Every quote and incident I used is true. They did entertain themselves by tying Black men together to fight.
Cliff Roberts was a racist piece of shit that Augusta still memorializes as a great man.
I am sure that Lois, Sham and the rest of the Republicans that read this column are only offended that I am reminding the readership about their racist heroes.
Were you old enough, I am sure that you would have voted for Strom Thurmond in 1948, Breckenridge in 1860 and Franklin Pierce in 1850.
Note to Buddy: It’s a good thing you were not editing A Modest Proposal for Jonathan Swift. I am sure you would have had them eating “Irish Stew” rather than the Irish.
August 26th, 2012 at 2:55 am
Sam can be a dick, but he’s right: there was a LONG history when “negress” was considered the socially correct term, similar to how “Jewess” was “proper” in other social circles. I have no problem with either term, particularly when used in a satirical piece that highlights the historically backward thinking of a bunch of privileged, rich, white men.
Personally? In reference to Condoleezza Rice, I wouldn’t call her a “negress”, I’d call her an “Oreo” or an “Eskimo Pie”…someone that is dark on the outside, but white through and through. If there has EVER been a greater sellout of both race and country, I’ve never heard of them.
She is one of the murderers who orchestrated the Iraq war under lies and deceit that have cost the lives of over 4000 brave young men and women, most of whom were persons of color. She helped destroy the lives of over 25 million Iraqis (killed, injured, or displaced) who had NOTHING to do with the 9/11 attacks or any other threat to the USA.
She is one of the most vile, evil, and despicable Americans who has ever lived.
Therefore, it makes perfect sense that she would be invited to join Augusta National, one of the most reprehensibly racist and misogynistic organizations in history.
She can finally be what she always aspired to be: rich, white, exclusionary, and male. Plus, she’ll be amongst friends who actually SUPPORT her taste for genocide.
August 26th, 2012 at 7:01 am
In Jacksonville, Florida there is a public high school named after the infamous mega-racist Nathan Bedford Forrest: http://www.duvalschools.org/static/ourschools/listings/sip/highschool/nathan_forrest.asp
Nathan Bedford Forrest (1821-1877) served as the very first Grand Wizard (organizational leader) of the Ku Klux Klan, a racist organization which routinely assaulted, battered and murdered African-Americans. He was also a slave owner (over 100 slaves), a prolific slave trader, and a Confederate Army general (a war criminal who repeatedly singled out from the ranks of surrendered soldiers literally hundreds of African-Americans and then ordered that they all be massacred).
On November 3, 2008 the Duval County School Board voted 5-2 against changing the name of Nathan Bedford Forrest High School in Jacksonville. The two votes for changing the name were cast by the Board’s only black members. The school was named for Forrest in 1959 at the urging of the Daughters of the Confederacy because they were upset about the 1954 Brown v. Board of Education decision [which legally forced the desegregation of public schools]. At the time the school was all white, but now more than half the student body is black. These students all receive their high school diplomas in the name of “Nathan Bedford Forrest High School”.
August 26th, 2012 at 9:30 am
Sam.
An offbeat thought…
Do they make clubs for a man of your impressive stature? Or do you go with youth sizes?
August 26th, 2012 at 6:08 pm
He ran as a Dixiecrat but what party was it Sam that Strom Thurmond belonged to in 1948, oh yeah the Democrats. Read a book.
August 27th, 2012 at 9:24 am
Dear Charles,
You’re the one that needs to read a book.
Southern Democrats (Dixiecrats) abandoned the part in the 1960’s and it was all about one issue—RACE. Strom Thurmond led the charge.
The GOP has become a regional White man’s party.
If you don’t think that oppressing Black folks—and other non-Whites– is a core value of the modern GOP then you are even more ignorant than I have imagined.
The few “chocolate chips” like Condy Rice only prove the point that the GOP is any flavor you want… as long as it is vanilla.
Had I been around in the 19th and early 20th century I would hope I would have been a Republican. You, on the other hand, would have been expressing the philosophy of the racist Democrats.
August 27th, 2012 at 11:02 am
I think we should follow great Democrats like George Wallace, Al Gore Sr. and Robert Byrd. All friends of the Black Man. (sarcasm off)
BTW, Nathan Bedford Forrest was quite an interesting historical figure. A rags to riches story, built by the force of his character. In the Confederate Army, he joined as a private and rose to a general. Not apologizing for him being a war criminal, and although there are differences of opinion on the matter, most historians believe he perpetrated or allowed the killings of the unarmed black Union soldiers at Fort Pillow. An excellent tactician, he basically invented modern cavalry tactics. After the war, he did not found the KKK but was recruited to organize the growing organization. After seeing the excesses, he actually dissolved the KKK in 1869, something he rarely gets credit for. Later in life, he had a change of heart regarding race relations and held more moderate views, espousing equality and harmony.
August 27th, 2012 at 1:40 pm
Written like a 30 handicapper.
August 27th, 2012 at 7:02 pm
Dear Sham,
Your ambivalence about war criminal Nathan Bedford Forrest speaks volumes about the modern GOP.
Henry Wirz, the Confederate Commander of Andersonville was hung as a war criminal for his treatment of Union POW’s
Forrest got a pass for executing POW’s.
But I am sure you will explain that was only right since Wirz was mistreating Whites.
The modern GOP, the former Dixiexrats like you, don’t see killing Black soldiers as much more than a misdemeanor.
August 28th, 2012 at 11:00 am
Sorry Sam, but your race baiting won’t work. I was merely pointing out historical facts about an historical figure. If Forrest was not prosecuted for war crimes, it was because the Union did not want to prosecute him. Whether that was for lack of evidence or bigotry, I don’t know. And neither do you.
I will not speak for “The Modern GOP”, I will only speak for myself. I am not a “Dixiecrat”, from anybody’s definition. I judge people by their words, their deeds and their ideas. Unlike you, I do not discriminate by skin color or religion. Sam, it is you and your fellow travelers that pigeon-hole people into special boxes. You think if your skin is dark, you must vote Democrat. You are the ones to fixate on skin color, not me. That is what drives you crazy about Black Republicans, or Jewish Republicans or Hispanic Republicans. You can’t figure them out and think they are traitors to their true natures.
You are a sad little man with a deep seated hatred for free will and independent thought.